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Discussion Topic:
termite mentality
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Hanascape |
05-09-2009 @ 1:37 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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hello everyone
I want to apogize for drawing many readers into my 'anger' topic.
when the situation of anger began, I tried to tell myself that it takes two to have a war...then went right ahead and participated in a less obvious way
I look back and am not proud of my behavior or choice to do so
it was so easy to say things, do things with the other party not present
yet deep down on some level,I think I knew it was not very good behavior, but did it anyway, convincing myself I was justified in doing so and I was the victim
well I was not the victim, only giving my power away so that I actually became the victim
in realizing my error and how deeply and pervasively I was drawn in, I now drop it all and focus on the positives
there are MANY positives
and with the letting go of the ties to this anger topic and the situation that started it, I feel once again like my old self, the light shines again
I look back on the lessons learned
anger is indeed a thing to take seriously, but in the direction of how best to handle it for growth and not to become embroiled in it..no matter what 'justification' I may come up with to participate in at any level
it is wrong, not the best behavior at alland it is very energy absorbing...taking my power in the process
the lesson learned is a valuable one and willhelp in all things of life which come later
for those that may have an 'anger' situation in their lives, be careful
proceed cautiously and try to think wisely
try not to give your power away as I had
and you will be better, much better for it
it will help you get through the situation easier than I if you keep your power
a difficult thing to do when you are in it
an easy thing to say to others when they are not involved
and there will be those around you that wish to help(I hope so) so do try to at least listen to advice from friends, good friends
and see if it may help you in your situation
anger is out there.....
it comes in many forms
some obvious, some not so obvious
and when principles are involved, it is easy to be drawn into the situation
I hope we can all recognize it and then take steps to protect ourselves
also to learn from it
keeping things postive helps a lot
the gift of light
daffodil man
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z3belts |
05-09-2009 @ 12:16 PM
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Experienced Member
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sep 2002
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Hello Hanascape,
It looks to me like you've bailed out of one topic and just continued it exactly the same under a new name.
The way I see it, we only have three things in life. We have thoughts, words, and actions. Taking responsibility for your own life means becoming aware of what you are thinking, what words you speak, and what people, places and things you surround yourself with.
You cannot control what other people do, but you absolutely have control over what you choose to do.
Whatever it is you are looking for in any relationship, BE that. If you want respect be respectful. If you want kindness, be kind. Be those things to yourself so that you can be those things to others.
Keep it simple. Stop focusing on what everyone else is doing. Stop and recognize what thoughts are going through your head. If they are not reflective of your goals for yourself, start changing them.
Figure out an affirmation for yourself that you can replace negative thoughts with. Keep it simple. Perhaps something like "I am happy and healthy." Or "I am loving to myself and to others".
If you are thinking about termite mentality and anger, you are creating more of the same. Start creating peace, and compassion, and harmony.
Perhaps you can start focusing on what YOU are doing to make this day one that will be happy and healthy, and act in ways that will promote the wealth you need to support your happiness and health.
Be your own best friend.
With blessing, love & light,
Marsha
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Hanascape |
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05-10-2009 @ 1:34 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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Thank you
I shall
I thought I had accomplished some growth, but you seem to see better than I
It feels like I have put that behind me and things are better, the burden is lifted and I am not focusing on that negative sitation any longer
I am trying to focus on the learning that I have realized
and making the change of stopping negative thoughts, insted making positive ones and directing energy toward those
I only started this to mention that anger is a strong emotion, and looking back, my principles were tested, and on that, I was again drawn in and gave my power away instead of recognizing it, then moving on to positive actions, thoughts
and when a situation with anger involved comes into people's lives, you have to be careful
I guess I said too much again
I like your suggestion of keeping things simple, so I catch my old negative behavior and change it now to something positive
there is so much work to do, that is an easier task to do for me now
I would agree with you that being what you seek is a very good thing
I am not very experienced in such, but now am gaining more confidence to try, and to live life
there is much fear within me
and reflect back on the reading to TRY
I have found that looking at how I reacted in the recent past was not what I want to make my life like
I needed to take a step back and think clearer than I did
realizing that I was drawn in to the negativity of my own decision, regardless of what I was telling myself and mentioning on the discussion
the decision to change is a good one, and I feel very different today than I have in some time
turned the page
I hope I have learned more than I realize
it has been a big deal for me, I don;t remembr ever having to go through anything like this, or seeing a similar situation with anybody I know.
the behavior I displayed was not good, and I have that memory now to reflect on when other situations present themselves...it has already helped me to think differently on several other situations involving other people
I do thank you very much for the helpful insight and advice
and also to swintoga for just about screaming to get my attention
I did not know what I was doing wrong.... just not listening thoroughly enough and proceeding on a better path than I did
I knew there was some point to get across to me, I just did not pause enough to really think deeper about it and get to recognize it
It was easy to help give advice to others, but much more difficult for me to hear it, take it, use it
I was too caught up in the exchange to really pay attention to what was being said, only superficially hearing a small bit of it
hopefully this can help others by my example
don't make the same mistake that I did, if you can help it
I will take stock of your advice and revisit it regularly
seeing where I might continue to improve
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Hanascape |
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05-10-2009 @ 11:28 PM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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keeping it simple has helped
and I can say that I recognize what I was doing, both good and bad behavior
there is much freedom in letting the negativity go
and I can say that I no longer feel much toward the neighbor, and I do not consider him a dark soul, just someone that has behaved poorly
tidying up the place helped as well, it gives great satisfaction, and that simple task of cleaning makes the day start off much better
I can reflect back on the situation and learn from it
and I can thank many of you here who have helped me to again grow and see more clearly
I also find I have more energy...I guess it was that energy which was being directed in my own negative way, instead of better focusing on positives
much of the answer did lie within, and the change in perspective and my behavior made all the difference
I sure feel like I have egg on my face, and am not proud of my poor behavior, yet I also feel good that I have learned a good lesson and focused myself toward a better path
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swintoga |
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05-11-2009 @ 8:09 AM
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Moderator
Posts: 205
Joined: Sep 2002
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Howdy Hanascape,
I just read Marsha's post and your reply. I know Marsha and she is very wise. Twice Marsha mentions "keep it simple". I wonder if you would be willing to try a little exercise in keeping it simple. When posting try to keep your post simple...try limiting your posts to one or two paragraphs. This might be a good first step and maybe a lesson in control. You might find harder than you think. We are all here to help each other.
all blessings,
swintoga
(moderator)
This message was edited by swintoga on 5-11-09 @ 8:11 AM
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z3belts |
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05-11-2009 @ 10:14 PM
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Experienced Member
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sep 2002
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Hi there swintoga,
You are so kind. Yes, it takes practice to slow down and keep it simple.
I always thought YOU were the wise one!
Blessings,
Marsha
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Hanascape |
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05-12-2009 @ 12:52 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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oh yes, I have been there before.... (talk too much!) <G>
when I got all involved, it was difficult to see things clearly
that pause you kindly gave, did the trick
I knew there was something important going on, I was too involved to see it right then
the pause gave me insight and reading the archives helped tremendously too
simple is best...and one of the most difficult things to do sometimes! (in all aspects of life)
and keeping it positive too!
MUCH thanks and gratitude
the gift of light
daffodil man
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Hanascape |
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05-26-2009 @ 10:24 AM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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as I reflect on what has happened, I have had several new feelings, some strange, but all generally good.
I notice the changes in myself, the way I look at and respond to things
after I had the realization of what was going on and my seeing I was again giving away my power, I felt sort of drained, perplexed. these were new experiences, and the resulting new feelings for me, all to come to be known, understood in time
I was definitely in new territory and was unsure of what I was feeling and experiencing.
now, with time, I am better, and feeling more like my old self again, but changed now, with more power from the recognition of the new experience and knowledge.
no sure why I am writing this, but just wanted to say I am doing much better, and now focusing more on myself and keeping it positive, moreso
we ARE given many gifts!
and to be aware of them is a gift in and of itself
to give advice is easy, to take it and apply it for ourselves is sometimes not
and it is what we believe, (especially in ourselves) that is very important) we can be what we believe we can be
and that thing about 'letting the bad stuff go' is so important(and also a very difficult thing to do sometimes), and we have the freedom of choice to do so
I still stumble, but now have a clearer path to follow, and that is comforting to me
and focusing more on myself is proving to be rewarding in many ways, helpful to the business, helpful to myself and those around me
it is so much better to be focused toward the light, the positives, rather than the negatives
the gift of light
daffodil man
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Hanascape |
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05-31-2009 @ 8:46 PM
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Joined: Jan 2005
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things are getting done!
I am now much more focused on my business, things,
every now and again I find I slip back into old negative habits, then realize what I am doing, catch it, and focus on positives
that helps me forget the bad stuff, letting it go(it's getting easier now!) and then think about what needs doing, getting that done, making a plan
there is STILL much room for improvement, and I am not by any means completely changed for the best at this time, but it is happening, bit by little bit
I am still violated, but no longer care as I did before
just turning my thoughts and attentions to what needs doing, a more productive and positive way to be
each day, I try to do at least one thing toward making progress
and it happens
and when that does, often I have accomplished several other things besides the minimum of that one!
so much needs to be done, I still have concerns about the success of the business
yet, I am not yet there with the self discipline...
but trying
moreso now
once again
these small accomplishments are helping me achieve that goal too
the gift of light
daffodil man
self change is a difficult thing...
first you have to have an open mind to listen, to take a true account of yourself...
then figure out what area needs help
then to make that change..
away from learned behaviors of the past
convention, society's learning (sometimes)
and then to make those new changes into great positive habits..
hmmmm
kind of a difficult thing...
but little by little it DOES happenperhaps it is easier for others?
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Hanascape |
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06-16-2009 @ 4:47 PM
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Member
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Joined: Jan 2005
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that thing called fear is a great thing to overcome
it has prevented me, frozen me into nonaction sometimes...
but friends have helped
some are very much go getters and I take their example to at least move, and start...something
and I have changed an old procrastinating habit to accomplish the task or at least begin it!
another friend says to think it through better
saying 'how bad can it be'... and I have done this as well.... and yes! it began, I accomplished something or completed it
and I feel very good about that
and it makes the living circunstances much better as well
cleanliness and tidiness are nice
clearing of clutter is also very good
it allows the mind to think more clearly
oh yes. there are still things going on
vandalism
sneaking around
I take notice of them
recognize them and what their source is
but I have too many things that must be done
to be attended to
and I focus on those things
prioritizing
nobody can do it all in a day, and I have begun to be more forgiving and understanding to myself
and recognize that I am accomplishing at least one thing, a positive thing each day at the minimum, but that is only one thing, and more often than not, I accomplish many more things than just that one
I read in soul signs that acts can be dark, or shadows
that is where I mentioned about dark acts
not dark soul labels
but those things do not seem to matter so much anymore...
there are so many more important things
and those things are much more rewarding
it is true what RA says... we ARE given many gifts
only sometimes we cannot see/recognize them
not all gifts are of material nature
wisdom and growth are much more valuable as they help the soul to grow
the gift of light
daffodil man
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